Hacking The Brain: What We Nurture is What We Get

What we nurture is what we get. It is one of the “hacking laws of human behavior.” The human being is not a mystery.

Most people of the world expect discipline.  Most of the world admires strict rules and rulers because to them strictness is synonymous with strength. But in reality the only strength the human being has is the freedom to change.

The world is just and God is just. As the old lady said in driving Miss Daisy, “Everybody’s bill comes due.” There are no free rides. Everybody comes to the planet with something to learn.

The self-image is a development that takes many years and builds on a family paradigm in which we were born. In a college classroom often times I ask students if someone were born and reared their entire life on a farm what are they most likely to be when they grow up? The students always reply, a farmer. Then I asked them if a child were brought up in New York City in a multi generational banking family what will they most likely be when they grow up?  The answer always is: a financial professional. And so it goes. What we nurture is what we get. It is one of the “hacking laws of human behavior.” The human being is not a mystery. We come from the planet Earth, whatever we plant that’s what we will reap. If we plant melons we will get melons. If we plant corn we will get corn. If we plant pornography we will get a mind that denigrates the human being into something to be used and discarded like a piece of waste. Whatever we plant that’s what we shall reap.

This causes a bit of consternation because if it takes 15 or 20 years to develop a specific self image-it should take an equal amount of time to change that self-image. But there are ways of hacking the brain. Hacking the brain allows us to speed up the process of change.

If you were to Google the number of people who won the lottery throughout the United States, you will discover that their lottery-wealth is eventually reduced to what they had and had been before the lottery. You see someone cannot be more than who they are regardless of the affirmation they make on New Year’s Eve. I’m sure an individual with their affirmation on New Year’s Eve is very sincere for the moment but it is impossibility for them to overcome 20 years of being a farmer or being a banker. We’ve always heard the adage that once somebody earns their first million earning their second, fourth, or fifth becomes very easy and that’s because they have now become a millionaire within their self-image. It’s like somebody going to college for six years, eight years, 10 years-and becoming a teacher, becoming a surgeon, becoming a doctor, becoming a counselor, becoming a biologist, becoming a chemist. The keyword here is becoming! One cannot become more than who they are. So the individual that is not a millionaire, he is a thousand-air who will not be able to keep the millions that they win in a lottery. It is impossibility. What you plant is what you reap.  It is a law of “hacking the brain.” What happens with the thousand-air who wins $1 million in the lottery is that they will gradually lose the money until they return back to who they are and how they see themselves.  Why does that happen? Because the subconscious paradigm of who we are and who we have learned to be and who we have learned to earn to be continually draw us back into the image of who we are-teacher, preacher, baker candlestick maker.

There are ways of hacking the brain or short-circuiting the amount of time it takes to be, something different than who we were. In order to do this, we must somehow trick the subconscious brain into believing that what we have committed ourselves to is unconditional.  Keyword is “unconditional!”   “Once the subconscious knows that there is no returning, the subconscious will submit to the power of growth.”   It takes more than a commitment of words to change behavior. Talk therapy will not and cannot change behavior. It is an impossibility. One cannot walk into a field and say please grow potatoes, please grow carrots, please grow melons-it does not work.  We can only reap and become what we plant. There are systems that can be developed called “sticks and carrots” that can change the subconscious thought into creating the human being that we would like.  We can even change our children?  Ah, the 6 days war.

Talking about sticks and carrots, I watched the film “Gandhi” the other day. It was all about the man that changed the world with “non-violence.”   Garbage. Gandhi was only able to intervene and make change because the British Empire had developed a form of government that was just and was focused on human Christianity. If Gandhi was to attempt his form of change on a form of government called national Socialism (Nazi Germany not Obama National Socialism) we would not even know his name today. There was one little speech Gandhi gave that said, “We can give them our bodies.  We can give them our bones.   But they cannot have our willingness to obey.” Garbage. Gandhi had never met Adolf Hitler, Pol Pot’s Khmer Rouge, Mao Zedong, Uncle Joseph Stalin, and maybe someday uncle Obama and his camps for the old and tired and objectionable.

How to hack the brain to form a different self-image and different patterns of behavior will be shared in the next blog called hacking the brain part two. How to change who we are or how to change who our children may become will be important to the parent.  But unlike Gandhi’s lies and Adolf Hitler’s forthright, this process of hacking the brain must have a freedom of choice or the subconscious brain will not capitulate.  Key word is “unconditional!”  As long as a person or child sees themselves as a slave, they will resist the tyrant regardless of “how kind the tyrant is.”   Right, Adolph?

Remember, everyone was sent to the planet with something to learn. Everyone.   No one person is exempt.  Like death.  No escape pods.  What we plant is what we reap.

Next week we I will define “unconditional.”

This is Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.

 

NLD Syndrome: Barking Dogs and NLD Children – Part 3

This is part three of the NLD review for the parents. Part two was using lifestyle as a parable to create indelible impression of the NLD syndrome.  So the story of youth growing up on Hollywood western sets and horses continues.

“Diane has always had dogs in her life.  Mostly German shepherds. We both grew up on a farm type living.   So animals had a utilitarian type of purpose,” I continued to say.  “I liked the idea of having a German shepherd especially on a large piece of property so the dog could run the perimeter as a guard dog.” Of course we’ve all read research from criminals in prison that states the criminal would never choose a house to break into that had a dog due to the fact that the barking noise disturbs the neighborhood and disturbs their heist. So both of us had our hearts set on getting a German shepherd.  Now it just happened that at the aperture of our frenzied commitment to dog and family, a friend stopped by and said that they knew of a couple who had two shepherds. The family had purchased these 8-week-old pups, brother and sister, not knowing that the mother was allergic to dogs. So this family was looking for another family that would make a home for these two shepherds. However, at the time we did not know that they were not German shepherds but they were Border shepherds, herding dogs.  So when we got to dog heaven, our two sons who were very young at the time, I believe seven and eight years old, fell in love with these Shepherd dogs.   My sons were hugging the pups; the pups kept licking to seal the deal.   No, they were not German shepherds, but my family got attached.

Then we brought them home.  They never stopped barking.

Now when it comes to the behaviors of children, adults and couples, God has given me a penchant.  I’m able to see through the patterns of behavior and mend and make whole what had been a sickness or some pathology in the human being to cause strife and anxiety. But with dogs, I had no idea of how to begin changing the feral behavior. Of course I’m aware of Pavlov and being able to train dogs, with reward response activities.  But these shepherds were not responding to my conditioning.   To address the dogs barking behaviors, I needed an animal trainer.  I needed something more?

All this times the parents, especially the father who was crying, continued to stare trying to analyze what I was saying.  I did not give any reference to NLD, so I continued. I consulted the animal trainer.    The trainer asked the breed of the dog.  I told him, ” Border shepherds.”   The animal trainer said, ” You have purchased an animal that is bred to bark.  That is its nature to bark and to herd.”   Then the dog trainer added fuel to the fire and said,  “If you didn’t want a barking dog why did you buy a barking dog?”

Now it has never crossed my mind that there were different kinds of dogs?   I know there are different kinds of human beings:  surgeons, tailors, teachers and candlestick makers.  They are all born to do something but I didn’t think of that in terms of dogs. So when I get upset with these shepherds for barking I’m really asking them to do something that’s not in their nature.   It’s actually punishment.

Now I turned to both parents who were slumped on the couch in the clinic.  I paused.  I looked straight into their eyes and said, ” You have a barking dog!”   They both were stunned.  They looked at each other with pause.  They looked back at me with silence but I could see the enlightenment in their eyes.   I said, “Your child was born with NLD, nonverbal learning disability syndrome.  Your child will always be a barking dog.  The barking will never go away.   Your child will have to learn how to live with it and how to accommodate it.   You will get used to the fact that your child seems to have assimilated all of these non-institutional behaviors that an NLD child inherits but you must never forget that you have a barking dog.  Your child is bred to bark.

 

After the long screaming pause I said, “So mom and dad, every time you look at your young man I want you to remember your adolescent boy is a barking dog.  Never think that what they do is wrong.  We still continually need to teach him how to organize and how to accommodate your barking shepherd.  You have a barking dog.

The parents smiled.   The father looked at me and said, ” I understand.  I never thought of it that way before.”

 

Well this is Dr. B from Berlin reminding you that we are not alone.

 

NLD Syndrome: Know Your Dog and Your Dog Won’t Bite – Part 2

After the parents had been sitting on the couch and before the father stopped crying  I said, “My wife and I have been together 40 years.”  Both of them stopped their fidgeting and straightening their clothes and stared at me.

I smiled without comment and continued, “We originally grew up on ranches near Hollywood, California.  My wife grew up in a ranching town called Heavenly Valley.  It was the type of farm and ranch area that Hollywood movie stars lived in when they were not working.  They had a ranch next to Dean Martin, John Wayne. All are dead now.  But my wife would saddle her horse every afternoon and ride through the Chatsworth Mountains.  Lonely quiet trails with seasonal waterfalls.  Hollywood had their backlog western movie sets one could just ride through.

I on the other hand grew up in Chatsworth California.  Our ranch was contiguous to Roy Rogers.  Late at night we could still hear Lucille Ball and Desi Arnez entertaining.  I too as a teen in the afternoons would saddle my horse and ride through the same country as my wife.  Why we had never met until Juniors in college, I could never tell you.”

During this story journey time the father stopped crying and now both mother and father were staring at me like deer in the head lights trying to figure out what I was talking about and why.  As I studied their look, it told me they were not ready yet to discuss transitioning their  NLD son exclusively to their home.  They had not yet fully divorced themselves from their own self.

What does that mean?  Have you ever been driving a routine commute and on your arrival could not even remember how you arrived?  Your mind was on automatic pilot.  Sigmund Freud tells the story of a patient friend in deep pain.  Her husband called Sigmund to come and tend to his wife’s needs.  “She’s in terrible pain Dr.  Terrible terrible pain!”

Sigmund rang the doorbell and was immediately  ushered in.  The wife’s husband urged Sigmund to go upstairs to her room, but he chose to first sit in the library and visit.  All during  the time of the visit the wife was screaming, “Oh my God.  Somebody help me!”  The husband begged Sigmund to attend but he insisted on finishing his visit.  “Suddenly the wife’s screams were stripped of all personal and cultural awareness.  Only the raw beast making guttural feral sounds.  Sigmund said, “Now since her personality is no longer an issue we can begin to address the true problem.  “If your wife is a hypochondriac we must navigate around it with observations.”

Like the wife, these parents still were focused on appearance rather than the malady.  Their journey must be taken  even deeper.

By now you probably have already been calculating my age.  My programmer becomes the “Grim Reaper” when I begin writing the great American novel rather than a “Blog.”  I can hear him now before posting,  “Dr. B it is too long!”

So here I must stop and give part 3 next week.  How was the father ever to say in true understanding like a wild animal, “I can see again God!  I can see again!”  Sounds like line from “It’s A Wonderful Life?”

This Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.

NLD Syndrome: It’s not the bark it’s the dog – Part 1

How the human brain processes information will determine what they will do for a living.

I overheard a musician talking  to parents about  how their daughter wants to play the violin.  The musician’s face took on a very serious tone.  “Perfect pitch is something your daughter must have,” accented the musician.   “It’s an ability that cannot be learned but must be born with.”

However, if a human is born with weak organizational skills (their handwriting looks like an elementary school child) they fall into that range of working disabilities called NLD.  Most parents focus on the affective side of the problems e.g. tantrums, emotional meltdowns.  Too often this processing disability is misdiagnosed as ADHD.  Motto, if you can’t kill it, medicate it.

My mission?  Transition a patient with NLD back to the care of the parents.  But I was reminded that  most parents forget the cause and need reminding that it’s not the child that creates the affective breakdowns but the processing.  With parents, fathers are most difficult because they feel their will is being threatened.  The father interprets this type of  family interactions as a testicle threat.

Hence, the family required more than just a verbal reminder of their sons profile.  But they required a visual memory that would be with them forever.

When the parents first walked through the office door the father was seeking some kind of punishment for the tantrums, disrespect , and furniture destruction.  Thought it was the actions of a willful child.  Least to say, initially the parent was extremely angry.  Now after 12 months the parents walk through the door.  I sat across from them with a coffee table in between.  I asked the father if he would like to say anything before I begin.  The father covered his face with his hands and began sobbing.  “I played a board game with my son for the first time in my life.  For the first time in my life I like my boy.”

And so I began to take the parents on journey.  Please continue next blog to understand journey and cure.

This is Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.

 

 

How Do Children Learn To Be Adults?

During the great depression in the 1930s, my grandmother taught school in a one room school house outside of Kansas City, MO. That was a time in American history when the local parents would volunteer their time to cook the cafeteria meals. On a fall day with cold laying heavy in the valley, the fragrance of warm homemade bread cooking would spread over the fields. The local population always knew when lunch was being served. The heirarchy of the family began with parent, not the child?

My grandmother commented that parents did not have resistant pacifier behavior or delayed potty training issues. Why?

Today people come to the clinic inquiring about programs for potty training management or fading the use of a pacifier. There is even web page that discusses “Bye Bye Binky” in 4 easy lessons. I asked my grandmother about this phenomena today. My grandmother said that the human being never needs to worry about fading childhood behaviors. Group management, the social situation, will manage and fade immature behaviors. A child that starts school and still sucks the thumb, wears diapers, or is attached to the binky will not be accepted by the group. These behaviors will magically disappear.

This is a very short story about a real experience of allowing mother nature to address animal behavior through the social situation, the strongest human motivator. Group conformity!

One family described the binky as holding the family hostage. Their dentist said that if the 4 year old did not discard the binky, which encouraged nightly thumb-sucking, the front teeth would be deformed. The dentist recommended a childhood speech therapist. The therapist implemented a basic behavior reward program that rewarded for so many days of consecutive “sleeping gloves.” The therapist gave the child gloves to wear at night. It was an honor system for tykes that could not define “honor.” The therapist did not factor in the variable of immediate gratification for pleasure oriented behaviors. When the child, human being, has control of behaviors that have immediate gratification (e.g. stealing, cutting, masturbation, binky stimulation, thumb sucking) delayed rewards will not function without patient participation. Parent frustration eventually settled in and the binky became part of the family reward system. The child could control the “Power of the Binky” but had to buy with points accumulated for positive behaviors, (e.g. dressing in the morning, eating breakfast on time, picking up the room). This became an ongoing parenting monitoring task.

Last week I was visiting the family, and the child is turning 5 years old. This child was having a friend come and play for the day. The child collected all the binkies in the room and stored them away. She then asked her father not to mention “binky” in front of her new friend. The power of the social situation!

My grandmother said raising kids back during the depression was easier because families were much larger. Older siblings would fulfill “the social situation” so behavior change for eliminating childhood behaviors occur at a higher frequency, much earlier in childhood. Younger siblings would want to model behaviors of older siblings. But large families is no longer a cornerstone in our society. And homemade bread in cafeterias is against the law. But the social situation is not managed by the law. It is still the most powerful motivator for individual behavior management. Optional? The social situation is a genetic trait. Some behaviors, like the “Lethal Binky,” are best left to group conformity.

Well, this Dr. B reminding you, that we are not alone.

The Defiant Ones: A Manual for Raising Kids

I recently began converting The Defiant Ones: A Manual for Raising Kids to release it as an eBook. The process was not without its quirks but we have finally completed the conversion and it has been submitted and approved by Amazon. You can find The Defiant Ones on the Kindle book store. Check out the link below.

 

http://amzn.to/1b40o5r

How The Young Learn To Find Lovers and Mates

The Hookup Test series of Apps on the iPhone will expose your mate as one in a cycle seeking of completing the process to  reproduce as a family or a predator.   There are more predators out there than lovers.

The younger an individual the fewer levels of life’s activities. It is actually a cycle that returns full circle.  At birth, a child’s world is  it’s nursery and gradually expands until at old age the person returns to the nursery,  nursing home.  Between birth and death the levels expand depending on the station in life as well as the human’s capabilities.  While working with Alzheimer’s  patients, some are in their early 50s while others are in their 90s.  But during the human animal’s  formative years,  the child expands from the womb into only 2 levels, home and school.

When it’s time for the human being to reproduce the specie, seeking a mate, life expands from school and  home into 6 levels. Each one of these stages has 6 lifestyle levels: 1. the Bedroom (reproduction), 2. Kitchen bitch (shared chores), 3. Friend Betrayal (changing allegiance ), 4. Lost Interests (not going to the ball game), 5. True Love (falling in love), 6. Copy Cat (copying her/his lifestyle).  As attachments mature and the human being is ready to mate, the 6 levels slightly change and “FEAR” replaces “lost Interests.”  We are now locked into another human being on the planet that is not part of the family genetics.  A stranger!

A strange animal that you  really know nothing about, and never will!  You are stepping into the Twilight Zone.  You think  you are  sane and in control, but in reality you have never been more out of control.  You might as well strip down naked and walk thru a subway at 2 am in the  morning.  This insanity is what we  call  love.    We are such strange creatures!

I have been married for 30 years and still have no idea what my mate is thinking about at any one moment without asking. This is called ‘trust’.  When I measure her  thoughts by reading her body language like a CIA agent interrogating a terrorist, the job of a behavioral psychologist,  she peeves because I can tell her “tell signs” like a poker table game.

Our world  is scary and we take so much for granted.  We drive down the road and take it for granted that some stranger smoking crack is not going to swerve into our lane for kicks.  We take it for granted.  “I could have almost died “, we say.  And even then we have no idea what it means.  “I almost died !”  If we are to die anyway, should it not be God sent?  Crazy creatures on a planet as we look up to the stars whose black hole light may not even exist.  And what do we think about?  We  think about the raise we’d like from work or whether Apple is going to regain it’s market share?  We are squirrels crawling in a tree.

Application coming soon, “Truck Nutz Shoot Out.”  the dangling package that walks with 50% of the population clothed in pants walking across the street when the green light says go.  Go where?

FEAR.  Within this application the level of fear is pictured in BLUE.  It is the the evolution of returning to the sea.  It is depth, it is it’s loneliness,  it is its  unknown. Next week we can explore other colors within the levels of human activity to reveal the insights into YOUR dreams, into your eternal life.

Don’t hang up that smart phone  You might be left alone to think about what the future will render.  Death.  May Darth Vader sleep with you tonight.  We used to call him the buggy man.  Now it is your mate until death do you part.

The 6 levels we live with our mate.  And out of all this nothingness, have you done the dishes to please her?  I believe the psychologist from Berlin titled you, “Kitchen Bitch!”  Have you stroked his back and reminded him of his virility nature and well hung manliness?  And he coos like a dog being stroked.  And what level would that be liebchen?

But all this information can be found in the iPhone app series: The Hookup Test, to determine if the stranger you meet in the twilight zone is best for you or just a predator in the jungle!

This Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.  It is the collective unconscious with its many colors of the subconscious.

Take off the handcuffs (parenting without power)

A parent seeking to regain control of their home once said, “We feel like hiding from the police.  We feel like prisoner’s of our children’s authority.  If they don’t get what they want, immediately, they threaten to call 911 and say we are being abused and we’re scared!”  And this is where story ends anthe madness begins.

Where do our children get this stuff?  My 15 year old runs away because I turned off her cell phone when she refused to do her homework.  I called the police and told them I knew she was at a friend’s house and I was going there to get her.  The police said that if I physically removed her from the house they would handcuff and arrest me for physical abuse.  They said that as long as my teen was safely in a house and not breaking curfew there was nothing I could do.  However, if my teen did any damage to public property, I was the guardian and still responsible for the costs.  However, my teen did have the choice of calling the police or social services to report on any misconduct of the parent which would be treated as guilty and social services could search my premises 24/7 without warrant, just on the whim of a young teen.

When they stormed the house with police lights flashing in the middle of the night, my neighbors drew their curtains, silently hoping they would not be next, mumbling “We haven’t done anything wrong?”  My wife and I felt like teenagers hiding in the attic.  We are prisoners of the state, held hostage by our children, threatened with imprisonment. What’s my name?  I am you.

Parenting Mafia Style is a parent’s account of retaking their house from the state. Rearing their children with the same confidence as running a business with employees.

In the United States, this is the first generation of parents to experience being imprisoned by their own children.  Throughout history this topsy-turvy series of events has occurred three times since 1900.  It occurred in 1917 after the Russian Revolution.  State schools were mandatory and state teachers taught the children to spy on parents political conversations and report to them.  The state had replaced the parents as the authority.  These events also occurred in Germany in the 1930s during the National Socialist government of Adolf Hitler. Movements for youngsters were part of German culture.  In 1936 youth  membership stood at 4 million.  The youth were encouraged to even question authority figures, like their parents, and report to their leaders.

These events also occurred in 1958 during the Cultural Revolution in China.  Moe Zedong said, that if the state can control the family and break down it’s authority the state becomes the family and controls the individual.  During the Chinese Cultural Revolution the New York times displayed a front page picture of a grandfather being paraded through a village in a chair wearing a dunces cap and children as young as 10 years old throwing rocks and garbage.  The grandfather had been an art teacher.  But it could never happen here?

The parent stories and events you will read will be harsh and unedited.  Many of the parents have not been sent to school by the state to learn the correct ideologies.  The Clintonian ideology of “Hate Crimes” have caught these parents by surprise.  These parents never dreamed that they could be imprisoned by their very thoughts and beliefs.  My son just reported to me that his elementary school would gather in the gym while the principal ask the students to raise their hands if any of their parents owned guns or smoked cigarettes.

One parent said to me, “If I would have known it was going to be like this I would have never adopted children.”  His 6 year old threw a bowl of milk and cereal at him at breakfast yelling she wanted cookies.  The father could do nothing. The child would go to school and report the parent.  The state teacher is mandated by the law to report any incident to the authorities.  Otherwise the teacher will be incarcerated. A school psychologist told me that at an elementary school a 6 year old was in the principal’s office for disturbing the class.  The 6 year old walked into the principal’s office and kicked the principal in the shins.  Solution?  They called the police and had the child handcuffed and taken away in a squad car.  Why didn’t they just pick up the little child like they would a puppy?  They were afraid of the police arresting them for physically touching a child.  The parent asks how can a government exert absolute power over the individual?   First, they must dismantle the family structure and become the surrogate-family with its police as the authority.

The Rewards Management Program described in this book actually developed its foundation by observing and working with the Jewish Mafia.  Do the work and get the pay.  Get outta line and your wacked.  Now that’s true capitalism.  Up until 1960 that’s how all families functioned.  In the 1920s it was work or starve and die.  One must admit systems with cost management programs are efficient.  Notice I use the present tense and not the past tense.  There pure forms only exist in gangs and crime business.  But Reward management programs can be used for good, as in capitalism, or used for bad, as in tempering the youth of Hitler’s Germany or any leader that advocates national socialism.  National socialism is the demise of family structure.  The two can not exist simultaneously.  The ingredients are the same.  I have observed with great humor how teens will use the law against their teachers and parents like Unions against the work ethic.  But as soon as they graduate, I have followed them into business and gangs and their performance excels.  Work or starve.  The  human is forever an animal that genetically understands the universal law of pain.  Once pain is removed as a human teacher the tribal structure collapses.  We have all heard the sweet tarts of the politicians seeking answers for failure by using aphorisms like “It takes a village to raise a child!”  Think so?  When I was 10 years old and was in church with my brothers, I was bored and saucy.  Before the end of the service I was tugging my older brother’s shirt sleeve to get “the hell out.”  An elderly man standing behind me in the pew thumped me on the head with a bible saying, “Stop it and behave!”  I silenced with embarrassment.  Today that man would be in prison.  Sure thing Hillary, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

Hillary says It Takes A Village To Raise a Child?

The Rewards Management Program described in my book “The Defiant Ones”  actually developed its foundation by observing and working with the Jewish Mafia in Brooklyn, New York:   Do the work and get the pay.  Get outta line and your wacked.  Now that’s true capitalism.

Up until 1960 that’s how all families functioned.  In the 1920s it was work or starve and die.  One must admit systems with cost management programs are efficient.  Notice I use the present tense and not the past tense.  There pure forms only exist in gangs and crime business.  But Reward management programs can be used for good, as in capitalism, or used for bad, as in tempering the youth of Hitler’s Germany or any leader that advocates national socialism, especially when its camouflaged as national health care.

National socialism is the demise of family structure.  The two can not exist simultaneously.  The ingredients are the same.  I have observed with great humor how teens will use the law against their teachers and parents like Unions against the work ethic.  But as soon as they graduate, I have followed them into business and gangs and their performance excels.  Work or starve.  The  human is forever an animal that genetically understands the universal law of pain.

Once pain is removed as a human teacher the tribal structure collapses.  We have all heard the sweet tarts of the politicians seeking answers for failure by using aphorisms like “It takes a village to raise a child!”  Think so?  When I was 10 years old and was in church with my brothers, I was bored and saucy.  Before the end of the service I was tugging my older brother’s shirt sleeve to get “the hell out.”  An elderly man standing behind me in the pew thumped me on the head with a bible saying, “Stop it and behave!”  I silenced with embarrassment.

Today that man would be in prison.  Sure thing Hillary, “It takes a village to raise a child.”

Well this Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone!

The Colors We choose Create Our Emotions

Psychologists choose the color blue to represent fear.  Why?

Human sight according to Joseph Campbell, the guru on the ritual process, states that the last sense to evolve for the human being  is vision.  The human being is fascinated with all sight.  Almost to the point of “to see is to covet.”  Even referencing Moses’ 10 commandments speak of “seeing” as a desire of sin.  “Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife.”

Research reveals that individuals who dream in color indicates higher IQ’s than those who dream in black and white.  Color has meaning for emotions of the human being.  Carl Sagan, well known astronomer, had at the foundations of the universe “Evolution.”  Sagan, as well as Campbell, believed in the “Collective Unconscious:”  each person not only has their own unique unconscious mind, but also shares some elements of unconsciousness with all other people. These are images and memories of important human experiences that are passed down from generation to generation. These memories can be common designs, shapes, colors, and figures seen over and over again throughout time. For example, all human beings from all nations have common dreams of falling, flying, being naked in group surrounded by clothed people, running from darkness (Darth Vader in Star Wars is a collective unconscious memory).  These images and memories fit into the background of our thoughts just like a déjà vu, a memory already experienced.  All human beings fear falling from the safety of their primordial trees.  Our nakedness in a group indicates the need to be subservient to the groups need and not the individuals’.

When Awkward Studios developed The Hookup Test: Whipped edition, we chose the colors to represent each segment of a relationship.  A relationship has 3 stages: The Hookup 1-3 weeks, The Love Affair 3+ months, The marriage Vow.  Each one of these stages has 6 lifestyle levels: 1. the Bedroom (reproduction), 2. Kitchen bitch (shared chores),  3. Friend Betrayal (changing allegiance ), 4. Lost Interests (not going to the ball game), 5. True Love (falling in love), 6. Copy Cat (copying her/his lifestyle. The psychologists chose specific colors to trigger emotions of the appster.  Sagan and Jung recalled these colors from the “Collective Unconscious.”

When we dream “black”, it means neutral or uncommitted, “green” it means fertility, “pink” means nasty thoughts, “blue” it means conformity and fear of losing conformity to the group.  When the human sight sees blue, they see the deep ocean.

We are creatures from the sea.  In our veins flows the chemicals that fill the oceans from hence we evolved.  The human sees the ocean deep as a deep mystery.  It’s color strikes the chord of loneliness and mystery like eternal life that we cannot explain but know we must return.

In The Hookup 2: “The Love Affair”, The lifestyle level of fear (going into a relationship with a complete stranger, an animal that we give our complete trust t0 and become as vulnerable as a baby) is colored by the ocean “blue.”  The color blue triggers vulnerability which is the next step in a relationship.  Why would would such fear exist?

We take so much for granted and few truly think about the ramification of our actions.  We know absolutely nothing about any human being, especially when we remove our guard.  At any one moment we do not even know what our most intimate mate is thinking.  Nobody does!  And yet we sleep next to them fully unconscious and naked.  A poet friend of mine from England, when gathered with a new group people in a social situation, would sometimes excuse himself from dinner and return from the kitchen with a butcher knife and announce that someone at the table must die.  The dinner guest would laugh but he would persist with a glow and glean in his eye raising his voice.  Suddenly, the poetic moment would snap into place  and the guest would realize that they are nothing but vulnerable animals in a jungle that have allowed their defenses to drop.  For a split second each one at the table became a vulnerable naked animal with doubt.  The poet had taken them back to the jungle, stripped away their clothes and dumped them overboard to the ocean blue.

What color do you see with your mate when you turn off the lights at night?

Next week more about what makes up the psychology behind how Psychometric Sexology™ works.

This is Dr. B reminding you that we are not alone.